April

Back to blogging after more than a month away from my computer.

April was one of the most unpredictable months I've ever known. At Christmas, no one could have guessed that Dad was going to be so unwell, and certainly not that he was going to die just a few months later. By February, I had decided to go and spend Easter with Mum and Dad, knowing that Dad wouldn't be well and hoping that my presence there would encourage them both. I booked flights, planning to arrive on Palm Sunday.

By the end of March, Mum had got in touch to say that some nurse friends of hers thought that I should come earlier if I wanted to have quality time with Dad. So I flew out of Cotonou on March 31^st arriving late on April 1^st. Dad was in a hospice by then, supposedly just while they treated certain symptoms. But over my first few days it became clear that he was unlikely to come home again.

The hospice was amazing. Especially coming directly from Benin, it seemed so clean, so comfortable and so beautiful. Everything was done to make both patients and families feel welcome and supported. All the staff were so good at their jobs, and so available. That didn't stop it from being a difficult time emotionally, as we came to terms with Dad's fast-approaching home-going. His faith never wavered, and he said openly to the doctors that he wasn't afraid of death, that he knew where he was going. We could see that he was fed-up with feeling so rotten, and he said to us that he just wanted to go to be with the Lord … and then apologised, but we completely understood.

And on Palm Sunday, with Mum, Ali and me by his side, he left us. He was sedated, so we don't think he was suffering, but it's nice to think that maybe he knew that he was surrounded by people who loved him.

In Benin, that was the day that Marc had to leave the village with the kids to go down to Parakou, because he was too unwell to look after the kids and himself in our living conditions. It was really hard to have both of us going through intensely emotional times so far apart from each other. On the Tuesday after Dad died I had a stressful time wondering whether I should actually leave and go back to Marc and the kids, rather than staying for the funeral. But Marc and the SIM Benin-Togo leadership all encouraged me to stay. And my sisters and I were able to help Mum with practical things, and have special times of happiness and grieving together.

I was glad to be at the funeral. Though I felt I'd already said my goodbyes to Dad, it was good to be with so many people who loved him and were missing him. Also good to proclaim our faith in our resurrected Lord, and His victory over death. While Dad was in the hospice, I took in a book of his to read while he slept. It was "Surprised by Hope" by Tom Wright, which re-affirmed and strengthened my beliefs about life after death, the resurrection body and the new earth.

Marc and the kids waited in Parakou until I got back, and even then I ended up spending a couple of nights there because Marc was waiting for test results. He was treated for malaria, but it seems like he also suffered from kidney stones – and may still be suffering from kidney stones. He is pretty tired of feeling unwell, and hoping that this will pass soon.

We are back at home in Pèdè now, and are back at work and school. Though in fact I am not at work this morning because Eve has a tummy upset and Marc has gone back to the doctor...